Showing some love

March 5, 2012 at 12:02 pm Leave a comment

The last resolution for this month involves making sure I outwardly show my love to my fiancee every day. We often say “I love you” (awww),  but sometimes it’s actions and other words that mean more. And this does not refer to ostentatious displays of love – like renting an airplane banner and having it circle our house. Rather, it means not snapping, happily doing his dishes (since he probably did mine earlier that day), and trying not to harp on unfinished projects.

In general, I can be a very selfish person. I am trying to do a better job of making sure my basic needs are met, so I can be more outwardly showing of love. That’s one reason energy was the theme of the first month. The more energetic I feel, and by extension, the happier I am, the easier it is to make sure other people – especially M – feel my love, instead of, say, my crankiness.

The best way to do this, I would say, is by being conscious of how I act. Often, for example, if I am super tired or had a bad day, M tries really really hard to make me laugh. And, being stubborn, I resist with all my might. But maybe it would A. make me feel better and B. show some love, if I just, well, laughed. Even if it was a fake laugh, at first, forced by my conscious effort to let go of my stubbornness and show some love instead, I bet it would turn into a real one, and then maybe into cuddling on the couch. Love for sure.

It’s important, because loving someone is almost worthless if you don’t show it. Not in big, grand, over the top gestures, but in the small moments of everyday life. What’s more, it’s critical to lay the groundwork for this daily expression of genuine love when times are good – because you will both surely need each other and your love in a difficult time. I also feel M’s love in his behavior everyday, and want to make sure he feels it in return.

Basically, I want to make sure to do a better job of showing, everyday, in the little moments, the love I feel for M. It will take conscious evaluation of how I am feeling and my behavior, as well as a will to shift how I am acting in certain instances, but it will strengthen our relationship and lay the foundation for a strong, healthy marriage.



Entry filed under: Relationship. Tags: , , , , , , , , .

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