March Resolutions for (Maintaining) a Healthy Relationship

January 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm 2 comments

I am very lucky to have a happy, healthy relationship with my boyfriend, M. Well, “boyfriend” is not really an adequate term since we own a home together and are therefore committed to each other in a way above just “dating.” So I think I will use the term “partner” on this blog to refer to M.

Either way, we still have a happy, healthy relationship, and we intend to make it a legal commitment, i.e. through marriage, and spend our lives together. So it’s worth spending a month working on appreciating our relationship more. We’ve been living together for a couple months now, and I want to continue to build an atmosphere of loving harmony. We actually settled into living with one another relatively easy, which is astonishing and yet also what I was expecting. I want to keep the ease and positive energy in our relationship, and that goal is the basis for my resolutions for March! I also want to build strategies for dealing with adversity/stress before we actually have to worry about that (money, children, working a lot – all these and more are common sources of relationship stress. We don’t have these worries now but you never know!).

  • Don’t expect praise for every little thing – OK, I really like to get A’s, pats on the back, and other forms of feedback to indicate that I am doing a good job (by which I usually mean doing well what other people expect of me, but that’s a different issue). M shows me a lot of love and he also does his equal share of work around the house. So it’s not fair for me to expect a constant shower of appreciation for just doing what needs to be done, like cleaning the coffee pot which I rarely do, but should do more often (seriously I am so immature that I left it out on the drying rack just so he would see that I cleaned it).
  • Fight Right – We don’t really fight a lot, and I do think disagreements are normal and healthy, but I think it’s important to, well, “fight right”. So if I am upset by something, I can’t ignore him or pout (not that I do those things…), but instead I need to address it in a reasonable way. Also, something I think is important is to keep the argument focused on what is really at issue, not bring up every little thing from the past 4 years. Again, we don’t disagree a lot, but it is still important to learn how to “fight right” now, before major stresses on our relationship occur, like children, etc..
  • No Dumping – So I like to come home and complain about my day sometimes. Which is kind of not fair. First, it makes him feel helpless. I also get frustrated when he doesn’t respond a certain way, even though there really is no good way to respond to someone complaining about something you can’t control. Also it brings a lot of negative energy into the house. So no more!
  • Give Proofs of Love – I think I do a good job of showing my love, but I think it can also be done more. So I want to make sure to prioritize this important thing every day.

So that’s March!

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Entry filed under: Months.

February Resolutions for Sustainable Energy May Resolutions for my Career

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